This is not about me, this is about another family member. Over the years I’ve watched my stepdaughter kowtow to her husband’s every demand. Mostly they seemed sort of reasonable at least in the way she explained it. Then things starting showing a pattern.
SD loves the countryside and she loves coming to our part of the state to visit. Her husband doesn’t like our family so he limits the time she can spend here. She can only come if he comes. They stay in a Motel and leave the kids with me on the farm. The reason? He doesn’t want to have to help with anything around the farm, he doesn’t like me, he doesn’t like our house because we don’t have a room for him to sit and watch cable TV all day. He feels that he should never be asked to assist on the farm.
He believes that my husband should be doing more than he does. My DH has had cancer and a grade 11 Stroke. He has recovered a bit but these illnesses have taken my husband away. He is an empty shell who has difficulty getting through each day.
His children. He decided they would be homeschooled. Dropping out of school is okay with him. The fact that his children’s education has been so lacking doesn’t bother him at all. His children are an inconvenience.
After a visit to the farm where the kids get to ride mules, hike in the woods, and have fun…he puts down the farm, my husband and well…me. I’m okay with that, but he does it in such a demeaning way. He abuses his wife emotionally by telling her how much he hates her family.
One day he told his wife that he was looking forward to when we died and left her the farm, because he’d sell it and retire.
The children are woefully unprepared for life. The father believes he is a good Christian and it is okay to hate like he does.
It is okay to lie to people, it is okay to manipulate feelings and keep your children isolated from the rest of the world. It is okay not to provide a good education and why not? He dropped out and his dad got him a job at a factory.
My grand daughter is going to be 15 in October. She is distraught as she now has figured out that 4th grade math is not where she should be. She can’t wait to get out of the house. I worry for her. Her brother? Not so much, he has so many learning issues that haven’t been addressed that I doubt he will leave home for a very long time.
What happens when parents neglect an education? Yes you can report them. Oh that would be a can of worms. Social Services would find well taken care of children who have a good home and caring parents. No physical abuse to see. Just the unseen emotional abuse and isolation.
I know, my first marriage was to a man who was an expert at abuse. He could do the emotional and verbal abuse so well. When I fought back was when it got physical. And I ran for my life.
When my husband passes and when my Grand daughter turns 18, I will probably tell this man exactly what I think of him. I will also make sure that he never sets foot on this farm again. I am reviewing the estate to see what I can change also.
Oh there is about 20 yrs of buildup to this and I know that I am a very patient woman. Abuse? No excuse. Karma is a bitch baby.