Falling apart at the

….seams.

I guess it is to be expected.  As the PA I saw last week said, “You burned your candle at both ends and it finally met in the middle.

Rich is feeling better, he won’t admit it, but when he can go out for 8 hrs in the woods and sit or stand in a tree stand and walk both ways…even though it is slow…he IS doing better.

I have been falling apart little by little.  One infection because of lack of hormones.  Got rid of that.  Saw the doctor for a follow up, then next, the burning mouth. Well the premarin cream should help that, or so they say. Wait two weeks and let us know.

Fine, I can do that.  And I think the cream is helping.  Yet I have gotten a UTI within the past two days.  I hoped I was wrong, but this morning it is worse not better.  Of course we have to drive to Madison to get introduced to Tia Chi for Rich.

The clinic in town is going to label me a hypochondriac I’m sure. Well maybe not, maybe this is the pay back for pushing and pushing during the cancer treatment.  Doing all the chores by myself, fencing, driving Mr. Grumpy, and working as much as I could.  When I asked for help and respite from his daughter I got bupkiss, nothing.  Oh she could come and bring the kids and leave them with me when she took her dad to a treatment.  That worked once.  I had the kids underfoot.  I love my grandkids, but I wanted some space and time alone.  

The second time?  She didn’t want to be left alone with her dad.  Really? 

So I never asked again and went about it like a Storm Trooper.  Now I think I am paying for it.

So this is a note to my friend, you know who you are.  Stress is going to catch up to the both of us.  

I don’t like having medical issues, I don’t like being told that my immune system is kaput right now.  All I want is to walk in the woods with my camera and not worry about appointments, what is for supper, what time I have to get the Grump up to make appts on time, and …I’d like some healing time.

I want to be selfish.  I even looked at photos from my last trip to Hawaii and dreamt about sitting and just watching sunrises and sunsets.

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